Time now to take a quick look at the nominees for the Class Of 2022 in terms of how much I enjoy listening to them. Some I really enjoyed, some I can only enjoy when I'm in the right mood or doing something as opposed to something else. It's not the most objective way to be subjective, but I have a blue-collar life to live that includes dozing off in my recliner if I try to relax. But the uptick of this ballot is this: whatever artist I was diving into that day was my favorite. Mostly. Some days were just rough though. Even so, the music is always a highlight, and that's why I do this. I love music, these nominations give me both an excuse and a helpful direction to go in when expanding my horizons, and it's great discussion fodder.
The ballot-filling episodes of "Who Cares About The Rock Hall" show that it certainly is often a combination of merit and personal tastes. And those that score high in both regards get the checkmark. Usually. The Dolly Parton situation notwithstanding. So let's rank the artists by how much I enjoy them, list a favorite song, and average out the ranks.
1. Eminem
His more immature songs are sometimes the epitome of a haunted house with a very cheery paintjob on the exterior. Some of his hooks and samples are so bouncy and catchy, it's hard to take the lyrical horror seriously, like an eight-year old boy spouting things he doesn't actually understand. Although I gotta admit, I do think the line "God sent me to piss the world off" is pretty funny. I think we all have days when we feel that is our cosmic purpose in this creation.
Merits rank: 8
Average of ranks: 4.5
2. Dolly Parton
I once read a Cracked.com article that included the statement, "Nobody doesn't like Johnny Cash." There are those who don't like Elvis. Some who don't like the Beatles. Some who don't like U2. Crazy as it sounds, some who don't like the Four Seasons. I myself have a slight Led Zeppelin allergy. But nobody doesn't like Johnny Cash. The same can be said about Dolly Parton, pretty much. You don't have to like every song, but you get to. Heck, she's even enough to have Tennessee made the spokesman for the Southern States in one of comedian Ben Brainard's videos.
Merits rank: 1
Average of ranks: 1.5
3. Devo
I don't love every song, especially their covers of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" or "Working In A Coal Mine," but admitting to not liking those two songs seems sacrilegious to the Devo fans. But the weirdness and reimagination is part of their overall charm.
Merits rank: 16
Average of ranks: 9.5
4. Pat Benatar
It's a little tricky. I like a lot of her songs, and I don't like a few of them. And ones I don't like are some of the big crowd pleasers. But overall, I like her music.
Merits rank: 9
Average of ranks: 6.5
5. Beck
I'm not a huge indie guy, but Beck certainly knows how to make it interesting. Even some of the less celebrated stuff was pleasant to listen to. And hey, the episode of Futurama he was on was pretty awesome.
Merits rank: 4
Average of ranks: 4.5
6. Eurythmics
I have to admit, if you're basing it off of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)" or "Here Comes The Rain Again," you really haven't listened to their music. This is an artist I like a lot more than my work on Retro Weekends at the lite rock station would have had me believe. And big thanks to Nick Bambach for mentioning my favorite song by them among the playlist tracks on his "Rock In Retrospect" podcast.
Merits rank: 10
Average of ranks: 8
7. Judas Priest
Admittedly, my first day of binge-listening was a disaster. I think I may have even exited Spotify and decided to socialize with my coworkers, to their chagrin. But we all have bad days. The second day went a lot better, as did the third, as evidenced by their ranking this high.
Merits rank: 5
Average of ranks: 6
8. Duran Duran
Duran Duran is a group that my ability to appreciate was badly damaged during my fast food days by off-key coworkers who changed all the lyrics to be about either boobs or weed. And not even cleverly. Haphazardly, not even trying to make them rhyme, Outright butchery. Fortunately, this band's quality of musicianship is good enough to eventually overcome that.
Merits rank: 3
Average of ranks: 5.5
9. Lionel Richie
Of the nominees whose catalogs might possibly be deemed "too schmaltzy," Lionel's is the one I enjoyed the most. I could definitely hear some of the country flavors that were spoken of with regards to his solo work, but there were also some rhythmic underpinnings--both kept the experience of diving into his solo work from being too tedious. Only tedious thing was hitting "Skip" on the Commondores' songs that were thrown into the mix. Nothing against them, but they're not the nominee.
Merits rank: 12
Average of ranks: 10.5
10. New York Dolls
This is not really music that works well while I'm working. But while driving, they're a lot more fun to listen to. However, the later stuff is not as good, in my opinion, partly because the lead singer is harder to understand on those later albums.
Merits rank: 13
Average of ranks: 11.5
11. The MC5
This band actually drops a bit, mainly because Spotify kept shoving live albums (besides the first one) and Wayne Kramer MC50 tracks down my ears. I get the catalog is limited, but this was just bad work by the algorithms. Fortunately, I remembered and enjoyed a lot of the albums' tracks from the previous years' research.
Merits rank: 17
Average of ranks: 14
12. Carly Simon
I have to admit, her albums of standards covers did next to nothing for me. A few of the songs were pretty cool, but I almost got more excited when the songs from the Winnie-The-Pooh movies would come up. Her originals are pretty solid though. No denying that.
Merits rank: 15
Average of ranks: 13.5
13. Fela Kuti
As I said last year, it's pretty much a cultural thing. Enjoy the first few minutes of the introductory groove, mind wanders until the vocals kick in, struggle to understand the words with his African accent. It's not a good system, and I do try to do better.
Merits rank: 2
Average of ranks: 7.5
14. Kate Bush
If you want a working definition of "inconsistent," look no further. Kate Bush ranked #4 on the personal taste list last year and has dropped below artists she was higher than last year. I really can't explain it. Last year, I guess I was really into the musical theatre feel of her music, and this year, not. I like musical theatre, and her voice is beautiful. But sometimes I just got annoyed listening to her. I really don't know what to tell you or what happened. Maybe the stress at work ruined her for me. Maybe I'm just getting older and crankier. Anyone's guess.
Merits rank: 14
Average of ranks: 14
15. Dionne Warwick
My appreciation for the Bacharach/David tunes that could easily have fit in the setlist for The Lawrence Welk Show has not grown. (And I like The Lawrence Welk Show, by the way.) My appreciation for her '70s songs though, has not diminished. So it balances out.
Merits rank: 11
Average of ranks: 13
16. Rage Against The Machine
This has been a suprisingly pleasant listening experinece this year. The stress of the workplace that may have hindered Kate Bush makes this group a lot of fun this time around, despite not really making any ground in relative rankings. That said, I also feel the songs tend to be interchangeable to the point where if they did get inducted, they could just do a big-ass medley and no one would notice, like cobbling together segments from a bunch of James Swearingen's old compositions Seriously, I have trouble matching Zach De La Rocha's repeated hooks and lines to the correct songs they come from.
Merits rank: 7
Average of ranks: 11.5
17. A Tribe Called Quest
They're at the bottom of the list because an hour after listening to them, I can't audiate a single song of theirs, except the hook, "Can I kick it? Yes you can!" I'm listening to this group now while typing this entry, and I forgot that "Can I Kick It" sampled "Walk On The Wild Side." Q-Tip's voice is like Teflon to me; nothing he says sticks in my brain. I feel I gotta take responsibility for this one. This is not an act to listen to while at work, or even casually. You have to be able to take time and sit with it while you listen. And if the COVID results I'm currently waiting on are positive, I'll at least have the time to do that for a few days. As it is now, it's just not sticking in my brain, and I feel it's only fair then to place them at the bottom.
Merits rank: 6
Average of ranks: 11.5
So by looking at the average ranks given, they average out and rank thus:
2. Beck
2. Eminem
4. Duran Duran
5. Judas Priest
6. Pat Benatar
Looking at the top five averages, it stands to reason that my fan vote should be going to Beck, Duran Duran, Eminem, Judas Priest, and Dolly Parton. And that's sixty percent accurate. As a native Michigander, Eminem and the MC5 are on my ballot. Pat Benatar is the only nominee who, if inducted, would extend my streak of getting names off my aggregate list of hopefuls that I wrote back 2004, before I really understood the Hall. So, she gets my vote. Judas Priest gets checked, because let's get the heavy metal in for crying out loud. And the last vote is going to Dolly Parton. I like Dolly Parton, but I don't worship and obey her blindly. She deserves it, and the Hall absolutely makes room for artists who mostly stay in the lane of a parent genre, but include some pop sensibilities at some point in their careers. Maybe she can smell the Hall trying to cash in on her cache just as clearly as the rest of us can, and she's diplomatically telling the Hall to go fornicate itself. Or maybe she genuinely doesn't or didn't pay attention to how the Hall operates, since she didn't think she'd ever be nominated. Either way, cache-grab aside, Dolly absolutely belongs in the conversation, and I'm still voting for her.
Coming soon, the official predictions. And holy hell, it's a sloppier mess than my ten-day hold. Stay tuned.
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