No accounting for taste on this ballot

As promised in the last blog, I will now rank the 15 nominees for the Class of 2013 by my personal tastes.  I do this for a couple reasons: one, I do it to show that when I rank artists by objective merits, I really am trying to be objective (last year, I ranked the Red Hot Chili Peppers most objectively deserving and worst to my ears); two, if I got a ballot where my vote was one vote and not one minute fraction of a vote, I’d like to think that my choices wouldn’t simply be one scale or another, but a combination of factors; three, in some ways, I have a sick predisposition for ranking, but I suspect I’m not alone in this regard either.  Since there wouldn’t be much here if it was just my tastes, I’m also going to add in the ranks of the previous blog and see which sets of top five averages would be the most accurate representation of how I would likely vote.  Since my fiancé doesn’t feel she’s familiar enough with a majority of the nominees, she declined to rank them by personal taste.  So when you see “taste” below, it’s mine.  Feel free to comment with your personal tastes on this ballot, as well as any other thoughts you may have.

1. Joan Jett And The Blackhearts: Who doesn’t love good time rock ‘n’ roll?  And honestly, this is why they stand a chance of induction any given year now, now that they’ve been nominated twice.  I gave them lowest merits, while the fiancé had them at seven.

Average of both merits: 11

Average of hers and taste: 4
Average of all me: 7.5
Average of all three: 7.67

2. Albert King: I’m not a major blues aficionado, but there’s something about the way Albert plays the blues for me like he promised that just sounds so good.  My merits placed him smack dab in the middle at eight, while she gave him a lowly thirteen.

Average of both merits: 10.5

Average of hers and taste: 7.5
Average of all me: 5
Average of all three: 7.67

3. Public Enemy: Masterful production.  While I’m not a huge fan of rap altogether, their style just works for me, whether it’s “Welcome To The Terrordome”, “Fight The Power”, “911 Is A Joke”, or the more mellow “He Got Game” with Stephen Stills.  Top merits from me and six from the missus-to-be.

Average of both merits: 3.5

Average of hers and taste: 4.5
Average of all me: 2
Average of all three: 3.33

4. Deep Purple: The hooky riff from “Smoke On The Water” is powerful indeed, but let’s not forget “Hush” and “Woman From Tokyo”, or any other that you’re yelling at me via your computer screen for omitting.  Rank of two from both parties of the engaged couple makes them shoo-ins to be voted for no matter which set of averages used.

Average of both merits: 2

Average of hers and taste: 3
Average of all me: 3
Average of all three: 2.67

5. The Marvelettes: As I said on the Future Rock Legends forum, I’m ecstatic about the Marvelettes finally getting the nomination, but I also said that I’m not even that huge of fans of theirs, really.  Knowing that, seeing them fifth on this list should give you understanding why this ballot didn’t really thrill me too greatly, despite elating many others, who’d likely vote all hard rock and prog..  Still, I enjoy their ‘60s style.  The fiancé felt they were most deserving, while I put them seventh.

Average of both merits: 4

Average of hers and taste: 3
Average of all me: 6
Average of all three: 4.33

6. The Meters: I guess when you get down to it, the sound of New Orleans is hit or miss for me.  Don’t care for Dr. John or Buckwheat Zydeco, but I love Fats Domino, and also get a kick out of the Meters, as well as a number of Neville Brothers songs.  Eleven and twelve from the merit ranks:

Average of both merits: 11.5

Average of hers and taste: 9
Average of all me: 8.5
Average of all three: 9.67

7. Randy Newman: I don’t feel fully or even adequately researched on his stuff, but what I do know is why some do consider him a credit to the singer/songwriter trend of the ‘70s.  But merit-wise, he sank like a rock, coming in fourteen and fifteen for me and my gal, respectively.

Average of both merits: 14.5

Average of hers and taste: 11
Average of all me: 10.5

Average of all three: 12

 

8. Heart: As I said last year, the voices of the Wilson sisters just don’t do it for me.  Their guitar work is great, but when the vocals lay in, I’m not too thrilled.  A few songs I do love though.  The fiancé likes them, and she ranked them four, while I went ten.

Average of both merits: 7

Average of hers and taste: 6
Average of all me: 9
Average of all three: 7.33

9. Donna Summer: Again, it should tell you why this ballot leaves me lukewarm, considering Donna Summer has jumped up five places in taste (last year, she was fourteenth out of fifteen) when my feelings about her music haven’t changed.  I placed her fifth, third from my fiancé.

Average of both merits: 4

Average of hers and taste: 6
Average of all me: 7
Average of all three: 5.67

10. Chic: Their rhythms are infectious, and I do like “Good Times”, but some of the lyrics just make the songs less than enjoyable, particularly the “yowzah, yowzah, yowzah” on “Dance, Dance, Dance (Yowzah, Yowzah, Yowzah)”.  I mean, why?  Rank of nine from the soon-to-be-married couple.

Average of both merits: 9

Average of hers and taste: 9.5
Average of all me: 9.5
Average of all three: 9.33

11. The Paul Butterfield Blues Band: Another act I want to spend more time getting to know better, but as much as I love blues-rock, there’s kind of a reason why the first go at something is often referred to as the “rough draft”.  The harmonica playing is a bit caustic at times, but the rhythms are steady, and Butterfield is an exciting front man.  I put them at lucky thirteen, while the fiancé went one step below that.

Average of both merits: 13.5

Average of hers and taste: 12.5
Average of all me: 12
Average of all three:  12.67

12. N.W.A.  You’re probably asking yourself, how could they be so distant on the taste list from Public Enemy when they’re both rap?  A good part of the answer is the same reason they got higher credentials in innovation: the lyrics.  It’s not that I find it all that offensive, just that it gets to be monotonous.  After a continuous string of obscenity that became obvious awhile ago wasn’t really for any other reason than its own sake, it just got to be boring.  It’s ennui, and it’s the exact reason why “Express Yourself” is my favorite track off Straight Outta Compton.  Three from me, and my betrothed ranked them fifth.

Average of both merits: 4
Average of hers and taste: 8.5
Average of all me: 7.5
Average of all three:  6.67

13. Kraftwerk: And here’s where the rockists and Europeans get pissed at me.  If there’s anything you’ve noticed about me, it’s that the voice is the most important instrument to me.  Many of the artists I don’t care for, it’s because of their singing voices.  In the case of Kraftwerk, some of the instrumentation doesn’t strike a chord with me either, but the emotionless singing really turns me off.  It’s the same reason I don’t like Joy Division or New Order, or for that matter the Thompson Twins, and especially not Cake.  I ranked them at four; she slotted them at eleven.

Average of both merits: 7.5

Average of hers and taste: 12
Average of all me: 8.5
Average of all three:  9.33

14. Procol Harum:  “Conquistador” is actually an exciting song, and I do like “A Whiter Shade Of Pale”, but only because I’ve listened to it enough times that I can make it all the way through.  Listening to Procol Harum’s other work… well, it just bores me.  I get it: it’s experimental and that’s why it’s hailed so exultantly.  But I need to down a 5-Hour Energy shot before listening to them in larger doses.  The woman in my life placed them at ten, I put them at twelve.

Average of both merits: 11

Average of hers and taste: 12
Average of all me:  13
Average of all three: 12

15. Rush:  And here’s where I piss off the rockists and the entire nation of Canada.  I’m sorry, but it all comes down to the voice again.  Geddy Lee’s piercing vocals just hurt.  He kind of reminds me of Pinky from Animaniacs (and the spinoff Pinky And The Brain).  Seriously, I’d love for Rob Paulsen to do an entire album of Rush covers using the Pinky voice.  “Fly by night, NARF!”  I gave them a six, she gave them an eight.

Average of both merits: 7

Average of hers and taste: 11.5
Average of all me: 10.5
Average of all three: 9.67

With all those ranks and averages now in place, we can now draw some composite sketch of how my official ballot might look.

So the five highest average ranks of both merits only:

Deep Purple

Public Enemy
The Marvelettes
N.W.A.
Donna Summer

Five highest averages of her ranks and my personal taste:

Deep Purple

The Marvelettes
Joan Jett And The Blackhearts
Public Enemy
tie between Heart and Donna Summer

Five highest averages of my ranks and tastes, excluding the fiancé’s input:

Public Enemy

Deep Purple
Albert King
The Marvelettes

Donna Summer

Five highest averages of all three metrics taken into account:

Deep Purple

Public Enemy
The Marvelettes
Donna Summer
N.W.A.

As is evident, there is a strong consistency among the averages’ lists.  Deep Purple, the Marvelettes, and Public Enemy are solidly on all four, while Donna Summer makes three of the four, and the fourth in a tie for the fifth slot, so she’d probably win the tie-breaker against Heart.  The fifth spot shows two counts of N.W.A. making the cut, one of Albert King, and one of Joan Jett And The Blackhearts.  Even though they didn’t make the cut on any averages’ list, I’m tempted to say the fifth slot might still go to Kraftwerk since I ranked them at number four in merits, and to give the ballot a little more balance.  But for the sake of this entry, it’s going to go by the numbers, and my vote would probably go for Deep Purple, the Marvelettes, N.W.A., Public Enemy, and Donna Summer.  That’d make a good class for sure.  Not that that’s how it’ll turn out though.